A Shared Experience

 Rated – PG13

 Disclaimer: CBS/Paramount owns Voyager

 This is for the Secret Drabble/Ficlet exchange on VAMB 2006. My recipient wanted a Janeway/Torres story with a first sentence of “Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres nervously paced outside the Captain's quarters.”

 It’s a Resistance episode follow up.

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 Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres nervously paced outside the Captain's quarters. She had no idea why Captain Janeway wanted to see her. B’Elanna breathed deeply several times to regain control then pressed the door chime.

 The door opened and B’Elanna walked into the room and stood to attention opposite her captain. “Lieutenant Torres reporting as ordered.”

 Kathryn could see how worried B’Elanna looked so she tried to reassure her chief engineer. “Please, B’Elanna. Sit down. You’re not in trouble.”

 B’Elanna sat down, still a little apprehensive. “Yes, Captain.”

 Kathryn decided to get straight to the point. “I read the reports you and Tuvok wrote about your time in the Mokran detention cell.”

 B’Elanna shuddered at the mere mention of the Mokra. It was still raw. The sounds of Tuvok’s screams as he was tortured threatened to overwhelm her again. The only thing that stopped her running out of the room was Kathryn’s reassuring hand on her leg.

 “I know what you went through,” Kathryn said quietly.

 ‘Targ shit! How could you know what I went through?’ B’Elanna thought angrily. The captain was trying to comfort her, Starfleet style.

 “When I was an ensign, Tom’s father and I were captured by the Cardassians.”

 “Kahless!” Torres winced. She knew what the Cardassians did to their prisoners, especially to the women.

 “I was beaten up. That was all. Admiral Paris was tortured.” Kathryn trembled as she remembered those horrific three days. “I was forced to listen to his screams. For three days. And twice they forced me to watch as well.”

 “Captain … I don’t know … what to say,” B’Elanna stammered realizing now that Janeway really did understand.

 “I want you to know I’ve never felt so helpless or scared in my life. I thought they were going to rape me then kill me. I was an ensign so they knew I knew nothing. I was going to be a bit of fun for them. I wanted to die. But what was worse was that I wanted Owen just to shut up. To stop…”

 “Captain … please…”

 “I want to. No. I need to explain to you that the anger, guilt, and helplessness you’re feeling is normal.” She half-heartedly grinned. “Even for a half Klingon.”

 “I felt the same as you. I wanted to kill them all for what they did to Tuvok. Still do.”

 Kathryn nodded, “We were never really the same afterwards, but Owen and I became even closer as we talked about it. He understood what I went through, as I understood his experience. He wished he could’ve resisted more to protect me but he just couldn’t. We were able to continue our careers in Starfleet with help, as will you.”

 B’Elanna understood what Kathryn was trying to tell her.

 “If you can’t talk to Tuvok then come to me. Anytime. Day or night.”

 “Thank you. I’ll try to talk to Tuvok.” B’Elanna stood up. “Good night, Captain.” B’Elanna left her quarters with a new respect for her captain and with plenty to think about.